the theory of love (attention) from the recepient point of view.

             I do not remember where I heard this story. Like several years ago a group of American businessmen started a join venture with one Arab Sheikh. He came to US and got a crash on one low educated but pretty sexy blond secretary. She was in the end of her twenties, sexy and married.  She did not care of that, but Americans willing make the Sheikh feek in their country as at home paid to the blondy additional bonus in order to make her more friendly. As a result she had a passionate affair with the Sheikh and the join venure was prosperous as well.
             At some point the Sheikh had to returt to the Emirates and continue the business from over there. And his main condition was that he wanted to take that blondy with him. I do not remember the exact reason but that woman could not go to the Emirates. Probably she requested from the  businessmen to much money for such a business trip.
             The Sheikh got disappointed, the business went wrong, American businessmen got concerned. They invited the Sheikh to discuss the situation and discovered that really he did not care which blondy will go with him. So Americans just picked up another woman, who agreed to travel to the Emirates for more reasonable amount.
             Now the dillemma. If you think that you can execute power because the person is enjoying your attention (love) there is always a trick. Unless you are really unique and can set up a benchmark for this person. The strategy for the recipient of attention (love) can be described with the following matrix:

             I would put it like that. The majoruty is average people with medium level of attention (the even bigger majority is ignored) , they can be converted to average ppl with sustainably high level of attention and interchangeble.

             Also let's evaluate the value (as increase of self-confidence for example) of external attention (you may call that attention - love) for the recepient of attention:

           At vertical axis is the significance of people, we can notice that the more perceived significance of the people  the more valuable is their attention.

           Negative attention is hatrid and all the negative emotions people may have toward the receipient. It is difficult to have really significant enimies, but it might be enjoyable to have insignificant enimies which will be a source of energy and happiness for the receipient. If the significance of the person giving attention is really low, it does not matter for the receipient if he/she loves of hates him. The top point is a benchmark and can be changed. It is a perceived maximum of the quality of the person executing attention (love).

             If we go back to the example of Sheikh the objective level of significance of the blondy was about 10, but for the Sheikh perceived level of her significance was about 20. Initially American businessmen (including the blondy as well) were overestimating her level of significance. They were thinking that it was close to the benchmark. But after they figured her real value they pretty fast solved the problem. The problem is that the person who lost in this case was Sheikh, who overestimated her real value.  According to the strategy matrix he was in the middle point of that. But who knows...Maybe he saved transaction costs, or maybe the business with Americans was profitable for him as well.